CBG proves his point

Well, not to say I told you so or anything, but I did indeed tell you so. I went 0-3 at the ptq yesterday, losing 1-2 to Aggro Loam, 1-2 to monoblue (like Next Level Blue but without Tarmogoyfs) and 0-2 to Astral Slide. The deck was not the problem, except perhaps in the 3rd round, when I twice was one card off from a turn one kill, and I couldn't get the damn thing to cough up a burn spell. There were some interesting stories though and I got to play some more EDH and extend my losing streak through the entire day, casual and sanctioned. Oh! Also, I finished my EDHs, so i am 100% proxy free. Dealers are nice, if mercenary.

The deck is Blazing Saddles of Fury!

4 Blazing Shoal
4 Serum Powder

4 Myojin of Infinite Rage
4 Greater Gargadon
4 Fury of the Horde

4 Spark Elemental
4 Lightning Serpent
4 Raging Goblin

3 Shard Volley
4 Rift Bolt
4 Lava Spike


3 Bloodstained Mire
4 Wooded Foothills
10 Mountain

I didn't run a sideboard.

This is Blazing Saddles, sped up by including Fury of the Horde. Fury is pitchable to Shoal, so it improves your odds of getting something big to pitch to the shoal, but it's not dead alone.

Round 1

Game one I blast him for 12 turn one. He stabilizes with a couple Wall of Roots and I am kind of wondering what he is playing, until his friend walks by and he points to his board and says, "No second red." So I put him on Aggro Loam with Countryside Crusher. I burn him out with Rift Bolt, Shard Volley, Shard Volley.

Game two I keep a hand which needed something (I think a red card) and I kept it since I had gone to six. He wasn't going to play anything relevant on turn 1 (no moxen) so I wasn't particularly concerned. I didn't draw what I needed until he had Crusher (tapped) and Wall of Roots in play (and I had 3 lands, what the heck am I doing with 3 lands). I had a Cajun and I thought I had enough to Shoal and Fury in the same turn. And I did. If I didn't cast the Lightning Serpent. Then, once I made that mistake, he of course blocks the Serpent with the Wall and I proceed to Shoal the cajun instead of the Serpent. Cause the extra 5 damage is totally more important than getting rid of the blocker. Sheesh. So he goes down to 5, then I Lava Spike. Then he Devastating Dreams for 4 and kills me.

Game three I keep a no lander. I rip it on turn 2, blast for 10 and proceed to not draw burn or further shoals. But he's playing around it. I am fidgeting in my chair and I realize that the floor feels slippery. The carpeted floor. I look down and there's three of my cards. I had dropped a couple cards in my lap when I was side shuffling between games and picked them up and put them back in my deck. Unfortunately, I had also apparently dropped some on the floor and missed them. So I called a judge and told him I had presented an illegal deck for game 3. I just conceded to my opponent, but this is not quite right. I should have actually sat there and had the judge enter the penalty and give me the game loss officially. This judge just ignored it because I conceded but they really are supposed to give me a game loss and if he was doing what he was supposed to, I would have started a game down in round 2 if I had conceded in round 1. So don't concede.

Round 2

Turn one blast for 12. Opponent playing monoblue. Turn 2 suspend Rift Bolt, getting Lightning Serpent Counterspelled. I assumed he didn't have it since he had let me bolt him down to 5. Oops. He was tapped out so I Lava Spiked him. Turn 3, he lays a Chalice for 1. Well frack. I just blew the two cards that avoid that (that would be Lightning Serpent and Rift Bolt). I die with him on 2. Incidentally, Fugie's Lightning Helix tech would have saved me here. One, because it's a 2, but also because he went all in to deal exactly enough with Meloku tokens. Helix over the top would have done it.

Game two. This was a moment I got to live in fear. When I put this deck together, I didn't think a monoblue opponent could do anything relevant turn one. So I let him go first. He lays Polluted Delta and says go. I lay Sparky, and put Shoal on the stack. He cracks the delta! Oh crap I forgot about Force Spike. He searches, finds an island, shuffles his deck, looks at me and says, "resolves." Whew. He lays a Tolaria West and I double Lava Spike to kill him turn 2.

Game three. I get him to two. I get a Gargadon down. I again play the card that I need to power my Fury of the Horde. He had Meloku and two mana, so he could have made double chump blockers for two gargadon attacks, but as it was, I just died. I need to test more.

Round three

I play against some fool playing Astral Slide. This is what happens when you punt yourself into the 0-2 bracket. He draws a bunch of Renewed Faiths, and I am a single card off a turn one both games. I had him as low as 3 game one and 6 game two. It's irrelevant though, as the games lasted too long. Once turn 3 arrives, I lose.

The End

Changes to the deck. Well, now I know what to run for a sideboard. If I did, it would look something like

4 Leyline of the Void
4 Shattering Spree
4 Sulfuric Vortex
3 Tormod's Crypt

I'd also change 2 Shard Volley and 1 Lava Spike to 3 Magma Jet. It's nice to have a little diversity of mana costs and the card selection doesn't hurt. Last, I'd go up to a full set of fetches. Your life total is almost completely irrelevant. I would not try to splash a second color. If I did, it would only be off Rav duals. Topdecking a land that doesn't produce red is stupid. Even stupider than topdecking a land at all.