Chicago Regionals 2008!

What up fools? Well, Regionals 2008 is now behind us. And what fun it was! I was planning on doing some sort of exhaustive tourney report, but then I would need to explain why I went 4-4-1. Instead I will just lay it out for you; I don't normally play Standard, I play tested for about a total of four hours prior to showing up, and most all, I am bad at Magics. There you go.



Let's start with some photos. I hear people love the multimediaz. Thanks to Captain Bondage Goth for the ride down and the help taking these pics.

It's me, TooSarcastic, smiling gaily as I flaunt one of the pretty Faeries that will soon be merrily prancing into the red zone. Uh, actually I think that's a Mutavault.

Tabasco Tony here.

He piloted G/B Elves to a winning record, I believe. More about Hot Sauce and his Garruk exploits later.

The Captain.

Apparently he plays Limited, Vintage, AND Standard. Don't even get me started about the man's EDH decks.

Pseudonymous Drama Student. He played an awesome Zur deck that fetched all sorts of silver bullet enchantments. Rogue, I tells ya, rogue!

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A Milwaukee native did actually make it in to Top 8. Harry Potter, young wizard and student at an all boys high school (Ha!) slid into 8th place playing G/B Elves to an astounding record of 7-1-1. Good form! He tweaked the maindeck to include the full quad of Garruks, going down to 3x Chameleon Colossus, and also chose basic Swamp over the fancier Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth. There were definitely more Elves running around than at PT Hollywood. I don't know if he anticipated more mirror matches instead of Faerie matchups, but I think both changes helped him, since Garruk is a dog to the Fae, but is quite nice in the mirror. Maybe our young friend also got some advantage from his opponent's Urborgs while avoiding the dreaded "Wasteland your Legendary land" moment, I don't know. I'd like to have seen his sideboard, but didn't get the chance. I don't know if he got the Nationals Invite (it was very late and The Captain, Tabasco and I couldn't stay to watch the rubber match). Wizard's site doesn't yet say, and neither does the Pastimes website. If someone knows of young Potter's fate, comment.

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Here's the quick and dirty of my less-than-glamorous Regionals. I promise I'll make it as painless as possible.

Round 1: Quick n' Toast. Draw. He played very slowly, and was nervous, but I saw soooo many Kitchen Finks and Firespouts. I hear they aren't good for little blue men.

Round 2: R/G Big Mana. He is also super slow (and I am not a fast player either) and I get game three on turn five after time is called. More Firespouts/Finks!

Round 3: Reveilark combo, sort of. Got there in two games. He did play a Red Akroma against me in game 2. That was scary, because I didn't have Terror in hand. He swung, I flashed in a Scion of Oona and blocked with three black Bitterblossom tokens. He didn't have the removal for my Scion, but he did pump his Akroma to 10/6, so I took 4, but got rid of the angry Angel. Let's say I didn't expect to be playing against THAT card this weekend.

Round 4: Faeries. I lose 0-2. I did not test the mirror matchup and played like ass in both games, but really the games were over turn 2. The first game I ran out a turn two Bitterblossom on the draw- right into his Rune Snag. Genius. And game 2 I play first, end up ripping an Ancestral Vision off the top turn 2, and suspend it instead of leaving Rune Snag mana up. Yep, his turn 2= Bitterblossom. GG.

Round 5: G/B Elves. Got there in 3, mostly because I drew 4 Damnations total between the post sideboard games.

Round 6: Zvi's Deus of Calamity G/R deck. I go on tilt from here on out. Although I'm not sure what exactly I am supposed to do about turn 2 Magus of the Moon. It's bad news when you die before your turn 1 Ancestral Visions unsuspends. She plays turn 1 Llanowar Elves, turn 2 Magus, turn 3 Chameleon Colossus, turn 4 Chameleon Colossus, turn 5 kill me. Game 2 I should have sided in Damnations instead of Thoughtseize. I didn't. I lost, even though I forced the Magus of the Moon to get discarded turn one, because Deus + Countryside Crusher = better than my Razormane Masticore.

Round 7: G/B Elves. Lost in 2. I didn't draw Damnation post-board.

Round 8: G/B Elves. Lost in 2. This build was bizarre, with Wolf Skull Shamans. I should have gotten this one, but I made many mistakes because I am bad at Magic.

Round 9: I played a small child with what looked like a Block Constructed Kithkin deck. I don't know what's worse, beating up on a kid, or losing to one. I got there, 2-0. Woo Hoo, I guess.



I should have dropped at 3-2-1. But single elim drafts are so pricey, and nobody wanted to EDH. I guess I could have done coverage.

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MORE PICS!

Tabasco plays a G/W Elves deck. He literally spent six consecutive turns making a Beast token with Garruk to chump a Chameleon Colossus trying kill his planeswalker.

Here we see him about to win, with two Beast tokens, a Shriekmaw, Tarmogoyf and Garruk, still with one counter remaining. Tabasco used his Manlands to chump through the midgame until he out-drew his opponent late.

I don't know why I took so many pictures of Hot Sauce. Here he is facing an underage WI resident (who may not want to be named, I don't know), who is piloting Faeries. I think Faeries got there, but I don't know for certain.

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My best play of the tournament: Round 2 I found myself in the draw bracket against an opponent who needed to read all my cards. We went to time, after which a bunch of his friends came over to watch. Finally a judge arrives as well. I was at 12 with two Bitterblossoms and three tokens in play. He was at 20 life, with some Elves in play. This is how it goes down:

Turn 0: On his upkeep I cast Mistbind Clique as time is called. He thinks for a long time, taps his land and says, "You got it." I champion a token. He draws his cards and passes.

Turn 1: My turn I beat with the Clique and two Bitterblossom tokens. He goes to 14.

Turn 2: On his upkeep, I cast Mistbind Clique, champion another token, and his friends groan. He thinks, swears, and then taps his lands. He draws his card and passes turn.

Turn 3: My turn I beat with both Cliques and three Bitterblossom tokens. He goes to 3.

Turn 4: On his upkeep, I stop him and say, "Hold on." He shouts "Fucking A!" and his friends yell profanities. Then I say, "Dude, I was just fucking with you. I don't have the third Clique. Go to draw step?" That got a laugh from everyone, even the judge. Yeah, I got the win on turn 5, but just watching him freak out at the thought of getting Timewalked for all his extra turns was the best thing that happened all day. He was a good sport, I probably would have been pissed off.

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I got some good photos of Asshole Jason, who played a R/B token deck with Gargadon and Nantuko Husk, but I don't know if he would want me posting his mug online, so I won't. I'll leave you with a Magic: The Puzzling type situation. Asshole Jason's opponent is playing some kind of mono-black deck. This photo is shot from the opponent's perspective.

Yes those two lands facing the camera are Leechridden Swamps. The opponent also has a Bitterblossom, one token, one Demigod of Revenge (tapped, attacking) and six Snow-Covered Swamps. As you can see, he has only one card in hand. Now to Jason's side. He has two Faerie Macabre, two Kobold tokens, his own (shiny!) Demigod of Revenge, three Swamps, a Mountain, a Sulphurous Spring, and an untapped Kher Keep. If you squint you can see the life totals- Jason 4, his opponent 15. Jason's graveyard has; 2x Greater Gargadon, 2x Mogg War Marshal, a Mutavault, a Makeshift Mannequin, and a Nantuko Husk. Assume Jason has no hand. How does he win the game before those Leechridden Swamps kill him? I'll give you some space.

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Figured it out yet?

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Still no? That's because he fucking lost, suckers!

Ha!

T