Stories from FNM

I didn't have my own transportation to FNM this week but Super Beer Geek picked me up off the side of the road in exchange for my allowing him to play my build of MGA (Version 2.0! Now, with Troll Ascetic!). This is a decision I would quickly come to regret.

I got to roll with my terrible (0-3 last time) version of UW control. Round 1 I get paired against a Martyr of Sands deck playing Porphyry Nodes and Mobilization (Worst. Sacred Mesa. Ever.) along with green for Treetop Village (won't you take me to? Monkeytown!) and Glare(!?). Game 1 I manage to Condemn two Monkeytowns, counter a mobilization and kill Martyr boy from 41 life. Turns out Azorius Guildmage can counter your Proclamation of Rebirth forecast and stifle your Martyr activation. Go ahead and put it in the graveyard and show me your hand, though. Game 2 I board out my Wrath of Gods since I have seen precisely zero cards it will do any good against. So of course, I get beaten about the head and neck by multiple Serra Avengers. Game 3 goes to time. Yay! A draw! My first (and still only!) sanctioned match point with this shitty, shitty deck.

Round 2, I get matched up against Fugie's far-superior UB control build piloted by the Dirty Dirty Man. I lose game 1 and concede game 2 because honestly, who wants to play this out?

Round 3, Angelfire with Firemanes in addition to Lightning Angels. Lose game 1. Concede because honestly, who wants to play this out? Also managed to piss off a rhinoceros for no fracking reason other than I was in a bad mood. Sorry, Rhinoceros.

Round 4 (hey, I was there and Super Beer Geek was 2-1 so he was gonna play it out, might as well lose a few more ratings points), I get matched against TooSarcastic. He of the 2nd place Angelfire deck 2 weeks ago? That TooSarcastic. Of course, he had picked up a loss and a draw and then gotten paired down against me. Bad beats, man. I managed to steal the second game from him, mostly because Sacred Mesa is...um-maze-ing. Still lost number 3 though.

Remind me to bring Etchings next time. At least I have fun playing that.

Oh and Super Beer Geek? He finished 2nd, losing only to Project X. Why no, we don't have tools to deal with that in monogreen. He kicked me the foil Wing Shards and kept the $21 for himself. He's probably right to do this, since I would have gone 1-3 with my own deck. That's just how I roll.

Also, can I take a moment to just bitch about the store for a second? Where are the freaking donkeys? I have yet to play against a rogue deck with mine, despite never picking up a single win. German Nationals-winning Angelfire in the 4th round? Sheesh. Where are the small children playing precons? Where are the people shoving Rhox into their Verdant Force decks? Why am I wasting my life playing Constructed? The world may never know.